I admit I am a reactionary by nature. I am not proactive, and I rarely take the first step.
Tonight something happened that greatly upset me. What exactly it was isn't the point - however I need to write out a reaction and this culminates some things that have been formulating in my head lately.
As can be seen from the previous posts, I have a clear idea of who I am and where I'm going.
What I didn't say is this.
I am sure of who I am because of a series of events that have shaped me. Those events have made me who I am and while I am not entirely proud of those events, I am thankful every day that they happened.
I know who I am.
I am not a revolutionary. I'm not going to be the one who changes the world in a big way.
I am not someone who lets people go easily.
I am someone who loves greatly and deeply.
I am not someone who tosses people aside.
I am someone who is truthful with my emotions.
I am not someone who can hide what I feel easily.
I am someone who knows what she wants and will go to great lengths to get it.
I am not someone who will fight for a cause she doesn't believe in.
I am someone who believes in helping people.
I am not someone who will leave someone else when they say they don't want me there.
I am someone is fiercely loyal.
I am not someone who will leave happily, or easily.
I am someone who dreams high and long.
I am not someone who will change desire in a short period of time.
I have been criticized for being all of the above at least once.
There are people who believe in fighting to get power, and who will achieve glory. I am not one of those. I have tried and considered it, but for reasons that have made me who I am today I have found that path to be distasteful.
I don't begrudge people that are.
However, I believe and will stand until the end on the fact that compassion, truth and love will always further you and your goals.
There is always more to life than the next goal. There is always more to peace than meets the eye.
The people that I truly admire, and believe in, are ones that have chosen life over career, and happiness over ambition. I make no attempt to hide that.
This is not a condemnation of people who feel differently. This is simply a very personal, and yet very public affirmation of how I feel.
2 comments:
I can understand where you are coming from. I'm often a lot like you. You have some admirable traits that you should be proud of.
The people that look down on you for being the way that you are aren't worth your time. In the end, you are who you are. That's really all that matters, dearie.
I think it is really cool (ugh, lame word I know) that you know so much about yourself.From what you wrote here, I think you sound strong and courageous, and I know that probably scares some people who aren't as sure of themselves as you are.
Post a Comment