Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile...
Goes the song 'Vienna' by Billy Joel. Its my mother's song for me, and my teenage years.
Its my 'slow down, don't worry' song.
You're so ahead of yourself, you forget what you need
That's me.
This year is supposed to be a year off. So far its been the year of realising I can't take a year off, even if I try. For some reason I thought that I'd actually be able to not stress with no external pressures.
Take the phone off the hook and dissapear for a while
Attachment issues? I've got them!
I want it now, and I want it all now. I want the white wedding, and I want the guy who's going to be with me forever.
Happily, or unhappily depending on how you look at it, I'm the only person I know who feels like that.
I don't like waiting. If I can't find the perfect guy/life/job I'll try creating him/it.
So my question for today is when do you give up? Do I accept my own 'limitations' or pretend they aren't there?
Do I accept his limitations? Or do I keep working to try and perfect them?
I'm 18, and I'm supposed to be relaxing. I try, I really do. I sat down and knitted today. And I got myself to the point where I was suicidal with boredom. To any future employers reading this - try that. She's suicidal when bored. So either I'm a complete psychopath, or a workaholic. I think I'm a combination of the two.
Last year, I wrote a short story for school - one of my major works. I think it was really what kept me sane - relationship problems? Make your main male character a barstad. Evil parents? Give your main character a whinge about restrictions placed on her life. I like escapism.
That main character, Lottie, is more or less me. Or me in a different set of circumstances.
Hmmmmm
I love how writing gets me thinking.
