Thoughts

So it's been a while since I've written. Possibly long enough for no one to read this.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted - many of which I'm not about to post here. Except in a veiled way... which I have to admit I like to do.

I've had the oppourtunity to think a lot about waht I want out of life, and how I'm going to get it. What are my priorities, and how do other people change them.

I had it all planned it out. It wasn't perfect, but I think I'd resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't going to be. Yes, at 18 I'd compromised. The guy was 'nearly' perfect, the way of life was different to how I'd seen it before, but it was going to be my life. I had it all set out.
And then, as its apt to do, life somersaulted on me. And I'm kinda glad it did.
That life is now not a possiblity. Doesn't help that I still dream of it, but its not a possiblity. And, 90% of the time, I'm glad of that. I've got my own way back.

However, that doesn't leave me any more solid on where I wanted to be. Except for the last week.

I had the opportunity to attend a conference for a very amazing organisation, the Inspire Foundation. I've only briefly been involved with Inspire before, but this blew me away. For those who don't know, they are the powerhouse behind Reachout!,
Actnow! and Beanbag (don't know that weblink).
In short, I knew they were brilliant people before I attended. I didn't realise how amazing though.
After the first three days of last week, I now have a new direction. I don't know exactly how I want to be involved in that organisation, but I know that I'm going to do something with them. Its reaffirmed where I want to be (aside from university for the next 4 years).
It has also given me reason to tell those little black tiger cubs the boot.

One of the people involved in Inspire that is worth mentioning is Kerry Graham. To give you some idea who she is I've copied her bio from the inspire website:

Kerry Graham

Kerry is Inspire’s Chief Executive Officer. She has degrees in arts, law, social work and management (and yes – she likes to have challenges in her life!). She has worked in the non-profit sector for 10 year across children’s courts, drug and alcohol rehabilitation, youth services and management. She has a particular interest in working with and for young Indigenous people. Prior to Inspire Kerry worked for Good Beginnings Australia, the National Aboriginal Sport Corporation Australia, and a number of Aboriginal legal and youth services. Kerry was drawn to Inspire because of the focus on the positive impact of change young people can create - whether it be individual, community, social or global! In her spare time she likes to cook, camp, swim and play guitar (preferably all on one idyllic weekend!).

Kerry made this week one of the best of my life. Not only is she a brilliantly intelligent, vibrant and inspiring person, she's also a lovely person who really made the effort to talk to me and made me feel as if I was there for a reason and I'm special. I would be happy if I could have achieived half of what Kerry has done in the next 20 years, and I'm fairly sure I can.

Today I've also had reason to evaluate this sort of idealism, and where its going to lead me. Someone in my life has made the choice to leave my life, and that makes me very sad. They have very valid reasons, and they have made the choice to pursue a career and what matters to them over friendship. To anyone who knows me, you would have an idea that this saddens me greatly. The people I admire most in my life have always chosen people over ambition, love over success and to have someone I'm very close to make a choice that is so fundementally against what I love and admire makes a choice like that is hurtful. Not because they are directly hurting me, but because I thought I was good at associating with people who didn't hurt me :S

Its just another step in life's journey, its just another lesson. One of my favourite quotes I heard this week was:
Mistakes are like pebbles. One in your shoe is annoying, but put together they make a pretty good road.

I've always liked pebbled roads :)